LOFT journal reflection

    When we first crashed down on the island, I was hopeful knowing that one day we would be rescued and would be able to see our families again.  Now, I doubt that we could ever get off this island alive.  The minutes feel like hours as each passing day feels like my last.  Everyday, Ralph and Jack try to get the boys to listen but the chaos continues to get worse.  Nobody knows who to listen to and who to follow.  We developed a method that whoever holds the conch gets to speak but that quickly failed in an hour.  Jack and Ralph are supposedly our two "leaders" but they both have different concepts on how to survive.  I stick with Ralph because while he can be a jerk, his tactics seem more assurable than Jack.  Ralph has the boys start build shelters while Jack goes hunting for meat.  

     I sure hope that we get rescued soon, because things are starting to fall apart.  Many of the boys get into disagreements with each other and I am worried that something bad might happen.  A lot of the little ones are getting sick because of poor diet, and unclean water.  One day, I had so much hope we were going to be rescued, only to be let down.  I was so disappointed that the fire went out because then the ship couldn't see us.  We keep a fire burning, hoping the smoke will attract distant ships.  That is pretty much all we've done so far to get rescued, which worries me because during the night the "beasties" come out.  The "beasties" terrify me and I pray that I am safe as I sleep. 

    We've been on this island for a couple of weeks now and I feel like I am going to die soon.  We have no meat, as the hunters have not been successful to catch many pigs.  Living on fruits is not a very promising diet.  I feel as if I am no use to anyone.  All the boys want from me is my specks so they can light the fire.  Although I noticed the boy with the mark on his face disappeared, we have not been able to find him since.  Everyday I am constantly called "stupid" or "fat" by the other boys and I try to be strong.  I pitch in ideas to the group, but nobody ever listens to me.  All the boys want from me is my specks so they can light the fire.  Sometimes I wish I could just go off on my own, but I know that Ralph would't come with me and I wouldn't be able to survive.  I miss home, I miss my family.  I just can't wait to get off this island.